I was on my way to my last Chemotherapy. I felt so happy, so relieved it would be over in a few hours. 

One of the hardest times of my life. Losing Viresh was harder - but this was a different hard at the same time.

I got there, saw so many smiles, felt soo much positivity. The Nurses are amazing at Charing Cross Hospital. They made me feel comfortable and proud that I had got through this.

We got the Nurses a card and I wrote a heartfelt message of Love for them.

We bought each Nurse some chocolates, they were so overjoyed for the appreciation. Just the smile on their face was priceless.  

I met my fellow Chemo friends who are just such beautiful souls, such fighters, such heroes to me. They gave me strength and they don't even know it. They made me appreciate my situation. 

They helped to keep up positivity. 

I have to have my down days. I'm only human.

After my 4-5 hour final Chemo session and mid-Chemo nap. We went out with our friends. A lovely couple who are also fighting their battle with Cancer.

A much more serious Cancer. She's a hero to me, a soldier. Her second battle. A different Cancer to mine (Hormonal), though she started off with Secondary Advanced Breast Cancer. 

An amazing soul with inspirational strength.

We had a lovely lunch at Pizza Express with laughs and getting to know each other more with genuine support and love in the air.

I left my last Chemo day, feeling great. Feeling like I could take on anything! 
Nothing could stop me.
Nothing will hold me back.

Nothing can bring me down.
Love is my guide.
I knew that there would be more to deal with, more emotions to come.
I knew post Chemo would not be easy and comes with baggage.
I said to myself I'll keep as healthy as I can. I always talk and I let it out when I should. 
I can overcome anything!

I thank my beloved Brother Viresh and my beloved Mum for giving me an unbelievable strength - a strength of mind. I have to use the right coping methods at the same time to deal with these post Chemo emotions.

But I was happy. Unfortunately of all people, my husband and family upset. 

I guess they just didn't get it. 

Who would...

- they're strong emotions

- I feel deflated and fedup

- can I keep fighting
- difficult - I'm fighting immorality
- I'm fighting lies
- saying 'everything will be ok doesn't help'
- most don't understand
- many don't truly care
- I need space
- I need a change

- I need to feel free and enjoy
- I will bring myself up
- I need time/patience - I have support - I'll focus on bringing awareness for Cancer - that's a positive thing to keep me going
- to keep me strong
- a positive to fight for
- fighting for others - helping others

My website will be online today

Its the raw, deep, truth of my life, Cancer & Chemotherapy

The main aim is to bring awareness so I can help even 1 person detect and be diagnosed early. An early diagnosis could save your life!
This is so important for me! So important!

I want it to be a showcase of reality and bring awareness to others about how it really is dealing with Cancer & Chemotherapy.
I want to get people talking about it, being aware about it's effects, about understanding

A tell, truthful, honest, emotional, raw. !

I've created this website out of pure love, tears, determination and appreciation.


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