Me and my husband are always quite playful. Well its mainly me I think. I’m quite the crazy dancer and wacky weirdo he loves. He looks at me like I’m crazy but laughs away.
That evening when I detected the lump/tumour I was doing my usual craziness.
Some sort of music was playing so I got up in a fit of excitement and started dancing away in front of the TV in the living room. My dancing when I’m playful is always quite funny, almost like Carlton Banks from Fresh Prince of Belair, but more awkward on purpose of course. And yes no-one has seen me dance like this, maybe besides my brother.
So I’m dancing away for like a minute and I did a little flash of my boobs and he laughed. Tabooooo if you’re Indian. I don’t care, we’re married, young, in love and crazy.
Now the lump as I like to call it is located on my left breast.
On the left part of my breast, fairly close to my underarm. So as I flashed him and quickly brought my top down, I felt something hard brush my wrist from my breast. I was like ‘Huhhh, what’s that?’ in my mind.
I stopped in my tracks. I stopped my crazy dancing, stopped smiling and had a quick feel.
My mouth dropped open in shock as I felt something huge in my breast.
Like it had come out of nowhere – like it had been planted or inserted there overnight and I was oblivious to it.
It was shockingly big and hard and felt unreal. That was all in a moment - less than a minute.
I said to my husband in shock, ‘there’s something there, its big. Oh my god what could it be?!’
He immediately got up, felt it and raised his eyebrows in shock while he was feeling it.
We looked at eachother and he said ‘don’t worry baby we’ll get it checked out, I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.’
His comforting words absorbed into me like a warm feeling of love and my worry felt relieved.
I thought to myself ‘he’s right’ – I’m sure it’s nothing, maybe a cyst or calcium build up.
The next day early morning – my husband received a call from his mother around 5am.
My husbands father had a sudden heart attack!
We both got up immediately and rushed out to his parents home, which wasn't too far.
It was an absolute shock! My heart was aching – aching for my husband, for his brother, for his mum, for their loss.
My lovely mother-in-law had lost her husband of just over 30 years. It was a loss for many people including myself. I knew just how he felt, how his heart would ache, physically ache. The pain of his tears.
My mother had passed just 2 years before in October 2016. So it felt all to raw.
I didn’t care about myself – I didn’t care that we had found a lump in my breast the night before. I just didn’t care. It wasn’t important. Not more important than being there for my husband and his family.
A couple of days later after my Father-in-law’s passing, I had to go to the Doctor’s surgery to sort out paperwork with my husband for his Father. My husband told me to also set a date for me to be checked out.
To be honest, I wasn’t thinking about myself at all. But my husband was right to tell me to just get it checked as soon as possible.