EMOTIONS & CANCER
The Raw Truth of Emotions & How We Have Tried To Overcome Them
You know life is really put into perspective – I write this in tears listening to the Beatles.
Thinking about life and love. What’s important and what’s not.
These tears are not for feeling fedup of chemo, fedup of the 36 injections I’ve had so far. Or fedup of the symptoms, or fedup of my life being stuck ill in my house.
They’re tears of appreciation of my loved ones. Tears of missing my brother and my mum.
Tears of life. Tears of love and tears of sadness. A bittersweet moment of tears.
Oh how our emotions can be so scattered – but I’m happy to cry in way.
To let it out, to leave my emotions out in the open, on my own. Contemplating life and having this time to see life in a different light.
I want to live my life in a loving way. To do what I can for humanity – to help people not just those I love, but to help and love others in this world.
There are so many things I wish for – not for me but for those struggling in this world.
I always think that there are so many humans in this world in a much worse situation than I’m in. I should appreciate what I have. I do.
Appreciate what this life gives me, it can take away, but it can give all the beauty to offer.
Life can take a loved one away from you, and you would miss them terribly.
But then life can give you the gift of life, and you would love that baby terribly.
The circle of life.
Deepest Darkest Hours
Me and my husband have had such low moments. Moments that we never thought we’d have to face. Absolute heart-breaking Moments of wishing to die, both us holding eachother and wishing we weren’t here - as dying would be easier for us both.
It would take our pain away. Take away the hurt we felt – an easy way out.
Just to think, a husband and wife thinking of suicide. It’s quite scary.
But it’s the raw truth of our pain and our life in those moments of utter despair.
But we bring ourselves round, with our unconditional love for eachother we realise that we can’t think like that. That life is hard, painful, hurtful, unbearable at times. But life also has its amazements, like the love we feel for eachother – for us we tell eachother that we live for eachother. We fight only for eachother. We carry on for eachother.
That life is very short – but life is also beautiful and I truly believe that Love is All You Need.
As a couple we are not perfect, we have had to work at our marriage on many occasions, just like any other marriage.
It's about talking, communicating, being open and honest to each other and never going to bed in anger with each other.
It's the strifes of marriage, the work of compromise and showing each other what's important in life.
We have overcome such difficulties and it's only made our marriage stronger, our bond stronger, our love even stronger.
I am ever so grateful for this.