FRIENDS & FAMILY
I must say I have a lovely support network.
I miss my mother more than ever. Going through Cancer is mentally and physically draining. If she was here whilst going through chemo, the way she used to look after me was one of a kind.
I've learnt so much from my parents and siblings who I adore and who I would do and did do absolutely anything for me.
I appreciate all the support I have received from my loved ones over this difficult period.
It's not just difficult for me, but for those that have to look after me and see me go through this.
Some extended family have been great and made effort to see how I am and support me - which has been lovely.
Of course, I cannot leave out my tremendously supportive, caring and loving Husband Mickey, who has been my rock throughout my Cancer journey.
My inspiration for my thirst for knowledge came from my mother and the hardworking selfless work ethic came from my father. They had their faults like all parents, being young parents and learning as they went along. But they did their best with what they knew, and really did the upmost they could for us, with love, selflessness, enduring the hardships of life at the same time. An unconditional appreciation that will never leave me.
I also have some amazingly superb friends, who have just supported me so much, as much as they can, all in their own way.
Those friends, know who they are.
They have just made this journey so much more bearable and kept me positive and wanting to keep fighting. Their selfless love for me, thoughtfulness, support and actions have made me appreciate them even more.
There have been many other friends who have supported me too and I cannot thank you enough for all the love you have shown.
I've even had support from work friends, old work friends, clients, it's so lovely to receive messages of support, encouragement and positivity.
At one point when I'd lost my brother to suicide.
I had "family" who stopped talking to us soon after he died. Out of their own selfishness and lack of love.
I quote "they made us feel uncomfortable". Our family who had lost their loving brother, made them feel uncomfortable. But that's fine, that's their perception.
I pity them and i'm so happy we were shown their true colours.
As the negativity had been released from us.
Basically a lack of support, lack of love, lack of empathy. They chose to ignore us.
10 years down the line and i'm so thankful I have nothing to do with them.
Those type of negative people will only bring you down.
In life you may experience friends that will come and go. I am thankful to be shown the true colours of those whom portray or are deluded to what is important in life.
I have unfortunately experienced a selfish friendship for a long time.
I have also experienced idiotic people who pretend to be friends.
For my sanity and my happiness, I have decided to have no contact with these people. As it's obvious that they just don't care and I have every right to keep that negativity out of my life.
You see when the time came to support me at the hardest time in my life, they chose not to be there.
Now if you know me, I am a honest person. I will always give the benefit of the doubt and give chances, many chances.
As as friend, I don't expect much, just love, trust and support, especially when its needed. I'm not a needy person and I understand how life changes as we grow.
Just a simple "how are you?" and being there now and again is all I ask.
I'm happy to rely on myself too.
When I was going through Chemotherapy which is a tough ordeal not just on your mental state but on your physical state as well.
Going through mental and physical difficulties at the same time can take an ultimate toll on your mind and body.
I'm a strong person. But no-one is strong all the time, especially in the world we live in.
Every person has their moments, has their breakdowns, has their difficult periods. It's how I picked myself up and how I overcame the hardships which has helped to make me strong.
I've dealt with huge mental difficulties over the years and came out of it stronger than ever - depression, anxiety, fear, suicidal thoughts and grief.
But i've pulled myself through it. To be honest, I look back and don't know how I did it.
Still to this day I find certain things hard, but I have created coping mechanisms to guide me and keep my mental health safe.
Having dealt with losing my brother to suicide, losing my mum to cancer, then having cancer myself. On top of that having to then push myself to keep positive and get through the trials and tribulations of chemotherapy.
Life can really make you feel like shite!
So I was angered.
I was angered at these so called friends.
Myself and my husband are completely better off without these negative people.
An overwhelming feeling came through me. My gut feeling was unbelievably strong.
Telling me to stay away from these people.
Positivity is key when your'e dealing with Cancer and dealing with Life too.
Why surround yourself with people who never bring out the best in you.
We must surround ourselves with LOVE.
Love isn't just a feeling, real love is caring, showing care, showing support, being there when you should.
"Love Is All You Need" - The Beatles